So yesterday was a tough day. If I was being graded on my Mothering skills yesterday, I would get a D-. (I would give myself an F except that I did manage to feed and clothe my children all day so that should count for something right?) But anyone who knows me well, knows that I hate bad grades.
I'm not gonna lie... these last few weeks of summer, of no structure, of long afternoons with no naps, of mom running out of ideas to entertain the kids.... they're getting very very long. VERY LONG. The energy I had at the beginning of the summer to go on adventures, and try new things, and make the most of our unstructured days has definitely lost its novelty.
AF doesn't start preschool for another couple weeks. And although we've had plenty to do this summer, I can tell she's ready for a bit more structure and predictability.
And just like clockwork, as one beautiful season comes to an end, I am so anxious for the next season to begin. It rejuvenates me as a Mother. It brings fresh new ideas. New energy. New eyes to see their growth and the needs of my children. I would say this is most especially obvious as Fall approaches. Because as much as I hate to admit it, it brings a lot more structure to our days. It helps with an overall rhythm to our week, and with that comes a bit of a longer rope in terms of my patience and grace with the kids.
I don't normally grade myself on a daily basis. But I do take my job very seriously. So when I end up in tears at the end of a day because I've reached the end of my rope, I like to examine why and how I can do things differently the next time.
I read this post recently and was blown away by Ann Voskamp's words,
"Motherhood is a hallowed place because children aren’t commonplace.
Co-laboring over the sculpting of souls is a sacred vocation, a humbling privilege."
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3 comments:
I think you are too hard on yourself (as are we all)! There were at least a couple good hours in your day yesterday...it's just that the "witching hours" for us are in the late afternoon and evening, when patience is running low. And, unfortunately those last hours before bedtime are the ones closest in our memories of the day. The ones we are left to dwell on for our hours before bed. In our sacred vocation, we are sure to make mistakes, but we are sure to have many victories as well!
I struggle with this often...especially because we homeschool. I feel like there are so many days that I fail my children. However, I'm starting to learn that failing, while it stinks, shows our children that we are not perfect. It gives us the opportunity to show them how to fail in a God honoring way. What do we do when we have those situations or days when we fail? If we apologize when we need to, pause to pray when struggling, walking away when frustrated, and then get back in the saddle, we are setting an example for them. God grace doesn't extend through us only for our children. His grace also extends TO us when we fail. Our failures are opportunities for us to grow as mothers. "We are a work in progress and God isn't finished with us yet! (max lucado reference!)"
I can SO SO relate to this post, girl! It's been a long summer and a short one all at the same time. I know you are a great mama! Praying you get the wisdom you are seeking.
<3
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