Friday's events have hit me hard. I slept next to my daughter all night that night, holding her and thanking God in those moments for the opportunity to be her mother for as long as I'm allowed. I did the same with my son.
I know there's no making sense of it all. But for me personally, I don't need to know all the answers. Although I believe with my whole heart that God is an ever-present and very near God, I still know and understand that his mysteries are divine and not meant for us to comprehend. We don't need to know it all now.
Just like my children won't always fully understand what I know to be the right plan for them and their environment, they can still trust that I am doing what's best for them. My son can't possibly fathom why it's not ok to eat a dozen cookies in one sitting. To him it seems good. To him it seems to bring joy. But I, having more wisdom than him, knows the grander plan.
In the same way, I know that God's plan for the world is a mystery until Jesus comes back. We don't know why evil wins these battles sometimes. But I do know that God is sovereign and in complete control. As Leslie says in this insightful post, God is in the business of restoration. And he makes beauty out of ashes.
My heart keeps aching when I think about the fact that the events in Newtown could have taken place in my own community, and still may someday. But I know that's my humanness crying out for something bigger than myself. A relief from the ugliness and weight. That's God tilting my head and my heart toward heaven. And the more weight I feel, the more desperate I am for it.
One day, we'll all know.
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4 comments:
You write so beautifully. I completely agree. xoxo
Come Lord Jesus Come!
Yes. He is good, although we do not understand.
Thank you. I needed this reminder.
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